Is there first class on Ryanair?

Remember Titanic (the movie)?  All those posh people in first class?  Yes, you get what you pay for.  So we booked our first-time trip to Ireland on Ryanair.  Of course we knew it was no Titanic and that steerage was what is being provided by this fine Irish airline, so we booked our tickets with the plan to leave Spain on the 21^st of December and spend 10 days in Greystones, south of Dublin, with friends. 

Due to a few issues at work, we had to reschedule our trip (which eventually proved to be a wonderful thing: we avoided all the crazy snowstorms and airport shutdowns), so we left Barcelona on the 30^th of December to spend the New Years with our friends. 

When rebooking my airline tickets, I was intrigued and seduced by an offer of a 4 Euro “Priority” boarding pass.  I thought: if that gets me on the plane first and ability to pick seats – great!  Especially travelling with 2 kids.  Off we go to Barcelona and to the airport. 

We got to Terminal 2 (the old terminal) and went to the check in.  First, anyone not with an EU passport has to get a stamp in their passport (this is one of very few times where my Lithuanian passport is a gem – I don’t have to do this!), then we have to get our luggage checked in.

Wait a minute: you said luggage?!  Any Ryanair-ite would know that Ryanair is designed for cheap flights with no bells and whistles.  And, if you still want the comfort of steerage, but the price of a regular airline, then you must purchase luggage allowance.  What is better yet: how about paying for some baby car seats that you later decide not to take with you anyway?  This guarantees that (with not extra service and a huge amount of extra cost) the check in lady will be looking at you as if you were truly from another planet.  Especially because this must have been the first time in the history of the airline that the Ryanair passenger paid for cargo that they did not intend to carry!  She had trouble figuring out the procedure of indicating this on the boarding pass…

Luggage checked in (now the tickets likely very close to Economy+ on Air Canada), we went through security and started walking to the gate.  This is where you quickly realize what you don’t pay for (or rather what you take for granted when you do not fly on a budget airline).  We walked, and walked and walked…. And walked a bit more to realize that the gate from which we were boarding was the very last one: a brisk 20 minute walk.  I suppose it is cheaper for the Airline to park further in the fields.  We get to the boarding area and the lady takes our boarding passes and carefully examines them.  “Hmmm…PRIORITY boarding” she says.  “Good.  Would everyone please form 2 lines: PRIORITY boarding and OTHER”.  We go to the PRIORITY line.  There is a whole 4 of us in the PRIORITY line.  Might as well rename the line “suckers: we paid 4 Euros each to stand in this line!”.  Needless to say that was a bit embarrassing.  But the kids loved it!

Guess what: this was not the gate to board the plane.  Oh no, this was the place to board the shuttle.  See, what you don’t realize is that the airline does not want to pay for one of those walkways that attaches to the plane.  Instead we take a shuttle to the plane.  And, you guessed it: we are the first on the bus, which is very exciting.  They even made sure we were on before they released the steerage passengers.  The shuttle goes for a 10 minute drive and gets us to the plane.  The doors open (the other side from where we are sitting) and the passengers disembark.  We get off the shuttle, looking for the “suckers” line, but…. We appear to be the last in the line to board the plane!  And believe it or not, we get on to the aircraft last L!  Even when we showed our PRIORITY boarding passes, the crew courteously point out that we are not allowed to sit in the first 4 rows.  So we find some seats (luckily the plane was not totally full) and enjoy our short lived experience of the 1^st class on the airport shuttle.

Ireland was great!  Weather was nice: no rain, relatively mild and no wind.  Our Friends Gwen and Monty hosted us at their home, where we greeted New Year’s and enjoyed wonderful company, excellent home cooked food and London fireworks over the TV.  I even managed to handle a couple of pints of Guinness at a local Greystones Irish pub.  Here is a little lesson for anyone who has not handled Guinness in its birthplace.  The lady at the bar poured the pint and put it beside my friend’s pint of cider.  So, without thinking twice, I grab the two and to the table.  Shortly (more like 2 seconds later) I hear the lady screaming across the hall: “the pint not FINISHED!”  I look at my friend in bewilderment, question in my eyes whether I should duck or run.  He kindly explains to me that the pint must be properly finished before it is allowed to be removed (ouch, like getting your knuckles hit with a ruler).  I did not repeat the same mistake on the second pint (pain is a wonderful motivator; I think this was a negative reinforcement schedule, if I remember correctly from my Psych 101 classes).

Greystones is a nice little community.  By many standards, quite posh, with lots of sweet high end shops and pubs.  You can tell that economy is not doing well at all, which is reflected in businesses closing.  We took some nice walks along the Irish Sea on the cliffs, walked to Bray and saw the New Year’s swim and even enjoyed a latte (which are not available in Spain, only coffee con leche).  Girls enjoyed our train ride back from Bray.

It was very nice to visit with our friends, drink some tea in between wine and eat lots of sweets.  As always Ireland is a very nice and green place to visit.  It was our 15^th year anniversary of visiting Ireland together in 1995.

But just as in the Bible, there is a redemption story after all.  As we get to the airport and embark on our epic journey to the end of the middle earth (aka Ryanair gate) we get to the gate quite late: the passengers are about to start boarding.  And guess what!?  They have 2 lines for boarding: not for the shuttle, but for the plane itself!!!  We get into the PRIORITY line and are the first ones to get on (with some 30 other non-suckers).  This was a much better end to the story. 

Moral of the story: while the first class may not exist on Ryanair, by buying your PRIORITY passes you will get a 50-50 chance of riding airport shuttle shotgun or boarding the plane first.  The choice is yours.